Kiss
Puke
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
