atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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