i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
