ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
