I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
