I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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