Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
