if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
