i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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