omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
