Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
