I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
