I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
