history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
