went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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