it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
