I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
