Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
