Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
