Got a toothbrush?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
