when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
