I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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