i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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