Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
