Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
