I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
