I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
