It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
