I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
