I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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