Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
