i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
In other news, I just burned my penis
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
