hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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