another moral hangover. fuck.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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