The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
