I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
