why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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