Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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