We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
