Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
