franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
