im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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