In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
