Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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