Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
