actually, I'm a sock model
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
