he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
