We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
