It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
