i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
