Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize