After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
