Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
