I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
